We're dating, you idiot
by missylynn99
Summary: On a dreary day in Metro City, Metro Man checks up on Roxanne to make sure she hasn't been kidnapped and is almost shocked out of the air. In rage, he goes to Megamind's lair, demanding an reason to why Roxanne was acting so strange. He's in for the shock of his life. How could he have been so oblivious? Rated on the higher end of the T scale. Partial songfic,
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer- I do not own Megamind or Touch my Body by Mariah Carey. I know, another songfic, but I just LOVE songfics. Music is my inspiration. Metro Man is in for a big surprise. I apologize if it seems OOC. Prepare to die of laughing. The music was in italics and the little sentences after a lyric section were the dance moves for that set of lyrics. I actually feel ashamed that I thought of this *hangs head in shame* but let me know what you think. I had to remove the lyrics. The origial is on deviantart, and the link to it is on my profile. If anyone wants to know, she dances to roughly the first verse and chorus. I love reviews, and I need to know if my writing is horrible so I can stop torturing poor F****anfiction readers if it is.**

It was a a cloudy and dreary day in Metro City, a rare occurance. Metro Man was on patrol of the city. It was just the kind of day Megamind would try to kidnap Roxie. It was one of her rare days off of work, and he didn't want the residant supervillian to spoil it for her.

Using his x-ray vision, he looked through the buildings to her apartment, just to make sure he hadn't snatched her yet. To his surprise, she was in her bedroom, with a Megamind cut out, a gag gift Megamind had given her in celebration of her 100th kidnapping. She was dressed in the strangest outfit he had ever seen her wear. A super short black dress covered in... were those spikes? His super hearing could just make out what was said. A CD player played a song he vaguely recognized as Touch My Body by Mariah Carey

She sang along with the song as she rolled her hips. She took a step closer to the cut out and ran her hand along it's poked its chest and held up two fingers. Then she gestured to her self and pointed up .She pointed to herself and slowly twirled in a circle twice and then poked its chest again. She a motion that looked like someone talking with her hand. Then she pointed to herself, then to the cutout and quickly dropped to the floor and sat on her haunches. Just as quickly, she stood back up. She rolled her hips a little more and touched her chest then it's. She extended her leg and as she drew it back, she ran a hand along her side. She dropped on to her haunches again. She came up slowly while rolling her hips. She did the leg thing again and ran her hand along her side again. She gracefully fell back on to the bed. She arched her back and time, while on her back, she ran both hands along her sides. She lifted her legs, and hooked one around the other. She pulled herself up so she was on her knees and touched a finger to her tongue. She rolled off of the bed. She extended her leg again and as she drew it back, she ran her hand along her side, all the while, singing the lyrics as if her life depended on it.

At this point, his jaw had dropped so far it might never come up. His eyes snapped shut, wanting to get rid of the images. Roxanne, who was like a little sister was_ dancing _for a _Megamind _cutout. He would never be unable to un-see that. But WHY would she be doing that? If Blue Boy had done anything to her, he was in for the beating of a lifetime. Like a rocket he shot over to Megamind's lair.

He crashed through the roof, unable to contain his fury. A very startled Megamind stared with eyes wide as saucers at his unexpected appearance. He grabbed Megamind by his collar. "What did you do to her!" He screeched. "Did you feed her a love potion, or brainwash her? Or was it some new ray gun?"

"Who are you talking about?" He asked, genuinely confused.

"ROXANNE! What did you do to her?!"

An evil smirk played at the corners of the blue man's mouth. Metro Man finally noticed that he wasn't in his usual get-up. Instead of the cape and spiked mantle, he was wearing what looked like a leather tux with a button down white shirt underneath. " Well, well, Metro _Mahn. _I think the damsel is getting what you call_ Stockholm Syndrome. _Did you ever consider maybe she_ likes _me, moron. But what makes you think I did something to her?"

"Because I stopped by her apartment to make sure you hadn't snatched her, and I saw her... dancing to a very inappropriate song, and that cutout you gave her was with her."

Megamind was unable to control his laughter. When it subsided, he responded "We're dating, you idiot. We've got a _date _tonight to go dancing. It's our one year anniversary." He finished proudly.

"...A_ year! _How did I not know about this?"

"because you're too oblivious to see what's right under your nose?" He mocked and turned around. " I need to finish getting ready." Dumbfounded, he took off and went back to the Scott's mansion.

. . .

Later that evening, Roxanne and Megamind were at their date, a wide open meadow, with music played from a radio. The pair was dancing beautifully to a slow song. As Megamind pulled her out of a dip he whispered "I think Metro Man knows."

"I know. I knew he was going to be checking up on me, so I made him regret it."

"What song were you dancing to anyways?" He asked. With a mischievous smile, she whispered it in his ear.

"Oh Temptress! You'd make an excellent e-vil queen."

"I know." She smiled as her kissed her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer- I do not own Megamind. I'm just borrowing a couple of my favorite characters. This is the last chapter of this story. It connects to "I need a supervillian". I hope you enjoy! **

Metro Man sat totally confused in his room at the Scott's mansion. How on earth could he had been so oblivious? Looking back at it, he should have suspected something was wrong. Megamind's plans often fell through before he was called, but in the past year, the amount of kidnappings with out him being called had tripled, as well as the total number of attempted schemes. He had just contributed it to the genius was just going through a bit of a block and was having trouble coming up with good ideas. **  
**

He remembered that about a year ago was that ill-fated trip to the karaoke bar. Roxanne had decided that singing "supervillian" by Nicole scherzinger was a good idea. He knew she was drunk, but it ticked him off anyways. They got into an argument, and being the stubborn fool she is, Roxanne walked out where she was inevitably kidnapped.

He expected a call from Megamind, but didn't get one until the next morning. When that call came Megamind was _furious. _He was immediately chewed out for upsetting her, and almost allowing her to drive away while drunk, and a whole slew of other things. Feeling slightly ashamed, he said he was on vacation, rather than face the angry blue genius in person.

The next morning, Roxanne was kidnapped, and it seemed like Megamind's scheme failed, because he wasn't called to rescue her. That was the first of the unexplained kidnappings.

The realization hit him over the head like a sack of bricks. Those unexplained kidnappings were _dates! _

Oh, he was indeed an idiot. His curiosity was killing him though, he wanted tho know just how the two got together. He flew to the bad boy's " lair" and hope that they both were there.

Not wanting to walk in and interrupt something, he decided to ring the doorbell. After hearing a startled sound, Metro Man heard Megamind said " come in!"

He walked through the holographic wall and found a surprised Roxanne and Megamind snuggling on the couch, watching a movie.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, but I have a question for you two. I don't even _want _to know the details of the night after the karaoke bar, but I would like to know how Little Buddy asked you bot be his girlfriend." He said. With a bit of amusement, he noticed both of them were blushing profoundly.

Roxanne, being the braver of the two, said "we'll, that Monday afterward the karaoke bar incident, I was kidnapped, and the knock out spray didn't last as long. While I was waiting, I decided to untie my bonds for entertainment. I had a bunch of metal bangles on my wrists, so it was a bit of a challenge not to make any noise. His plan ended up involving a giant magnet. When he turned it on, I was pulled towards him and knocked him over. We talked about he night before, and I figured out what really happened, because Minion told me one story and my drunken mind came up with another. Afterwards, he plucked up the courage to ask, and the rest is history." she said proudly. " By the way, when you saw me yesterday, I did that on purpose. Serves you right for spying on me."

Clearing his throat, he said to Megamind "If you ever break her heart, you won't be in prision, you will be in the hospital, understand?"

" Yes" The blue genius whispered dryly.

"Good" with that he walked out and called over his shoulder "Now don't have _too _much fun. Bye!"

After he left, he felt a little bad for scaring Megs like that, but it was outweighed by the amusement he felt. " At least now I won't have to rush down there every time she' s kidnapped." He muttered to himself.

* * *

**YAY! it's done! I'm going to do my best and put out new stories, but I'm not promising anything. I plan on doing some for other fandoms, So if you have a request or suggestion, just leave it in the reviews or PM me. I'm going to be busy the next couple weeks, so I'm sorry if I neglect writing. I'm not quite suede if I liked how this and the last chapter to " I need a supervillian" turned out. Be sure to let me know what you think! Thank you!**


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